Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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