girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
