dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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