the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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