i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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