the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
