This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize