I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
