I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize