i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
