How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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