i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
