I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
