Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
