high people should be assigned attendants
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish you could order shots online.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
