Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize