oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
