Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
