this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
