Have you finally orgasmed yet?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
