DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
