Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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