The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
