You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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