1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
