Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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