Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
