she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
