Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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