listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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