Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
