Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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