Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
