She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
