Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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