he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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