Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All the doctor said was why
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
