Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
