We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
