The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize