We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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