so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
