pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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