its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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