Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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