I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize