Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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