Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
