Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
two words: eviction party
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
