pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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