We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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