Do you still have your period?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
