If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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