the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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