I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
