Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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