Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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