Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
