Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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