I must be too annoying 4 u.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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