Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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