So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
